super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
