Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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