brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
