id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
