My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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