Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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