Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wish my penis had a tongue
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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