After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
