About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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