Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
