u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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