i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
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Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
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I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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