There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Drake has all the answers
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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