I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
