margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
