Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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