So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
