Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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