Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
