I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
