Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think I sprained my soul last night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
