grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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