If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Are we still banned from the library?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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