This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
