Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
