new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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