TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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