Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
