hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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