so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
