you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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