Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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