Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
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battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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