Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
