Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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