what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
