so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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