Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
my liver is dry heaving
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
