I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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