I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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