I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
