so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
