If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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