Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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