wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
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but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
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STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Ladies don't puke and tell
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch