the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.