I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt