If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa