carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
These tits shall not be calmed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
