dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
