this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
