Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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