so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
