She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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