Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
