I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Congratulations! We have a period
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
