Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
