smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
