I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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