he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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