1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
